Acute Couples Counselling – Psychotherapist Mark Colclough

Asking for help is an important start to the therapeutic process – all it takes is a free 15 minute conversation.

When you think about booking your first therapy appointment, you are likely to ask yourself some common questions. Some of these might be;

How do I know if this problem can be helped by therapy?
How am I supposed to act / behave in therapy – what is expected of me?
What are Mark’s credentials?
Is online or in-person therapy best for me?
Should I book couples therapy or individual psychotherapy?

While reading can be useful, you have specific questions about your personal circumstances that need my attention – which is where a free 15 minute conversation comes in.

What happens during your free 15 min. conversation?

This conversation is an opportunity for you to explore the following:

Why you are considering therapy
How you’d like to work (i.e. online or in-person and how often)
What you’d like to achieve

The conversation will happen via phone and I will ask you open questions about your circumstances, goals and challenges. You will also have the opportunity to ask me questions too. You might want to know more about my background, approach, preferred way of working, and also what is expected of you as a client.

There is no right or wrong way to use this time

Ultimately, the goal should be a sense of clarity on whether or not therapy with me will be the right path for you. To get the most out of the conversation, please ensure that you are in a quiet and confidential environment. If you are accessing a conversation as a couple, please ensure both parties are present for the call.

After this no-obligation conversation, you’ll be able to decide on a direction forwards, having been given all the information.

Why is such a conversation important?

A 15 minute conversation allows us to begin our therapeutic relationship. Like with any relationship, there has to be a period of getting to know each other which is what this conversation is for. The advantages of doing this are:

By the time our first session commences, you’ll already have an early sense of who I am. I will have a beginning of an understanding of why you are accessing therapy
It equips me with the knowledge about what kind of therapy you might benefit from, so that I can prepare and plan for our sessions
You will feel more comfortable when therapy begins because you’ll know what is expected from you, and what to expect from me / therapy
You’ll have a better understanding of terms like ‘therapy subscription’ and ‘24 hour access’ in the therapeutic context
You’ll have received clear details about time limits, confidentiality, the ‘online environment’ (if applicable) and payment options including special offers, which frees us up to talk about what really matters during our sessions
You’ll gain clarity on what kind of commitment you want to make

Acute couples counselling can bring immediate relief, and help move the rupture from emergency through crisis management to healing.

Sometimes a sudden crisis emerges within a relationship, and this crisis requires immediate attention to plug the leakage. For that reason, I offer comprehensive and acute marriage counselling, couples counselling and couples psychotherapy to those in need. Acute couples therapy offers you the opportunity to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences and to establish a safe common ground. Regardless of how your relationship develops, I offer assistance in facilitating a respecting communication between you.

In order to bring a sense of containment to painful situations, I aim at offering sessions within one business day of your first contact to me. Contact me immediately here

Knowing what constitutes a ‘crisis’ is the first step in finding a healthier, happier relationship.

A 2013 study demonstrated that 72.2% of couples cited conflict and communication problems as a major contributor to divorce. Other reasons included infidelity (59.6%), marrying at a young age (45.1%) and substance misuse (34.6%).

All of us at some point experience a relationship problem. The problem might be easily managed or it might feel like a dragging, nagging issue. In some cases, these problems and issues can turn into an immediate relationship crisis. If unmanaged in these dark and choppy waters, the relationship may not survive.

What is a crisis?

What constitutes a crisis is personal and individual. There is no set definition. You might, however, notice some of the following problems that indicate you are in a relationship crisis:

You are discussing / arguing again and again, with no end in sight
You are stonewalling each other / don’t speak to each other
You are sleeping or living apart (when this is not the norm for you)
You are depressed or anxious about your relationship more often than you are content
You have contempt for your partner (or they have contempt for you)
You, or your partner, has an affair / is unfaithful
There’s violence
You are considering separation / divorce
Criminal activity is being considered

Whatever your crisis is, it’s important to meet it with immediate care and attention. This can be challenging because oftentimes we don’t notice this crisis creeping up on us.

What are the warning signs of a crisis?

If you have noticed any of the following, you might already be in a crisis. It’s important to take action now and not wait for further pain to occur.

You’re starting to hide things from your partner or don’t feel you can tell them how you feel
You are feeling suspicious of your partner
You feel arguments aren’t being properly resolved
You’re arguing more often than you used to
Sex is less frequent or less fulfilling
You are having romantic or intimate feelings for another person
You dread going home / take sanctuary elsewhere
The relationship is feeling like a chore
A life change (such as having a baby) has adversely impacted the relationship
There are wider challenges (such as conflict with in-laws) that aren’t being resolved

When your relationship needs help right now

If you and your partner are noticing any of the crisis fault lines mentioned, don’t hesitate to get the help your relationship deserves. Much like an ambulance is needed at a crash site, acute couples counseling can assist you and your partner in identifying immediate dangers, setting up a safe space from which to listen to, and speak to each other. Finally, acute couples counseling can bring down inflammatory and hurt rhetoric, so healing has a potential to begin. These first steps are often the hardest for a couple to undertake, and there is no reason you should go the distance alone.

As your couples therapist, I will assist you in these first steps towards healing the rift, and my goal is to bring you lovingly together again in a new way, or help you both separate with dignity.

These processes are especially important if there are children involved.

Will acute couples counseling save my relationship?

It can and I am here to do just that. I have helped many couples come together again after serious betrayals.

Going a bit deeper to answering this very common question though, is that you get back what you give out. Whatever is happening within your relationship, I can help you to unpack the problems and find a more thoughtful way forward. But, I can only take you as far as you want to go. There needs to be an opening from you to let me in and then, working together, we can go far.

“If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together”

What can be guaranteed, with just a few couples therapy sessions, is that you will both have a more intimate understanding of one another, and a much clearer view on where the relationship is going.