Author: Mark Colclough

Save on your therapy expenses with Mark

Post author By Mark Colclough
Post date 16/02/2024

Save on your therapy costs!

Bundle your therapy purchases with me and save money at the same time.

Should you wish to have a healthier, happier and a more fulfilling life, either individual therapy or couples therapy can be an effective way to facilitate that.

To help you make the right decision, I have created a very simple offer, regardless of which therapy you are looking for.

Once you know if I am the right therapist for you, I would encourage you to bundle your purchases.

Get free therapy

Prepay 6 sessions and get the 7th session free. This offer saves you 14%.

Example for couples:
Michael and Sarah have had their initial couples session with me, and wish to mix uo when they see me as a couple, and when they come for individual sessions. By prepaying and booking 6 hours in combination, they save 14% on all of them.

Example for individuals:
Adam has had one introduction session with me, and wishes to continue for a further 6 sessions. By prepaying and booking these 6 sessions, he receives a 14% discount straight away.

See terms and conditions below.

Terms and conditions

These two bundles cannot be combined with other offers.

Every session can be held online, or at my clinics, at no extra charge.

Sessions will ideally be weekly, and for couples sessions, every second or third week.

Once booked, the sessions are non-refundable.

Excluded from this offer are the extras for evening and weekend sessions, as listed on the pricing page.

If you invoke your refund rights, the previously held sessions are charged at the full rate, and the rest is reimbursed in accordance with the payment conditions on the pricing page.

Couples Counselling

What is couples therapy?

Post author By Mark Colclough
Post date 02/02/2024

Research shows that couples who participate in therapy generally report higher relationship satisfaction levels. So, what is couples therapy and how does it work?

Is there an issue in your relationship that you don’t know how to solve? Or perhaps your union is lacking in intimacy and you aren’t sure how to rekindle the spark you once had? Couples therapy can help.

Couples therapy (sometimes called relationship counselling) is the process of enhancing communication between two partners with the support of a fully trained and qualified professional.

Couples therapy gives you and your partner an equal opportunity to discuss your issues with a neutral, trained and qualified psychotherapist present. Whether you decide to stay lovingly together or to part ways with dignity, I can help.

Partnership can be one of the most stressful and challenging areas of life. Many couples also feel as if they should be able to cope alone. However, couple therapy and relationship counselling can provide a much-needed opportunity to take some ‘time out’ together with facilitation and support.

Some couples may seek out marriage and relationship counselling because they have reached a crisis point and require acute couples counselling. Other couples simply need space to talk, to have room to talk about the things that daily life and busyness does not allow for.

Many couples face complex challenges, such as a general breakdown in communication, chronic arguing and conflict that may lead to a loss of control, shame and guilt, loss of emotional and physical intimacy, financial tensions, feelings of betrayal, an inability to make mutual decisions, cross-cultural issues, connections and tensions with family overseas, step-families, multi cultural as well as relocated families.

Such challenging issues often arise in the complex everyday that couples and families face, so therapy can be an invaluable space in which to gain perspective, to relate to each other clearly once again, and to create constructive paths forward.

Who and what is couples therapy for?

There are a multitude of reasons you might access couples therapy, and there is no ‘correct’ time to seek help.

Reasons you might attend couples therapy include:

The discovery of infidelity
A bereavement
Conflict and arguments
Financial problems
Communication breakdown
Other challenges

Cultural challenges

Financial struggles that impact the relationship
Disagreement over parenting
Addiction within the relationship
Parenting disagreements
Sexual misalignment
Potential divorce
Moving countries

The Big 4

Having worked as a couple’s therapist since 2004, I have come to notice four major components that cause a relationship to dismantle.

The big 4 in a coupledom are usually;
Sex, power, money and culture.

Sex

Someone once said “Everything is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power.” I have seen how sexual questions in the relationship can pull the dynamics totally off track. Infidelity is one dynamic, a leakage of physical, emotional intimacy and trust. A “simple” sexual act can blow up the entire household, bringing the house of cards tumbling down.

As a relationship grows, so can sexual identity and needs. Perhaps a partner goes from heterosexual orientation, to bravely wanting to step into bisexuality or same-sex interests.

At other times, partnerships may open the closed doors of a monogamous way of living, and which to safely let other sexual partners and games begin.

Illness, stress, work and diffuse displeasure with life can bring about sexual frustrations and a lull in intimacy. Once I heard a woman shout at her partner “I get too little from you, your dick included.” His retorted response “I get way too much of your consistent nagging, and have given up on fucking you.” Such tensions require immediate counselling and support, helping the rupture heal and the couple to grow.

Power

Is one partner considered ‘The Boss’ in your relationship? Is there an obvious power imbalance that is causing resentment? Does power shift from one partner to another after indiscretions, then get earned back over time? Perhaps one of you feels they can’t speak up, or isn’t able to contribute to important household decisions. It’s important that each partner feels valued and important within their relationship, creating a balanced equality. By exploring power dynamics, I can help to create a more fulfilling equilibrium.

Money

There are several ways that money might affect your relationship. It could be that you are financially struggling, and have debt (or hidden debt) causing challenges. Another issue is that you might fundamentally disagree on how money should be spent, or spend money in a way that your partner doesn’t like or agree with. Money can also cause a power imbalance. If one person earns more than the other, or if one person is staying home to raise children and therefore is dependent on the earner for money, resentments can sneak up on both of you.

Communicating about money issues and coming to a clearer understanding of each other’s values is a positive step towards a more equal and respectful relationship.

Culture

Cultural disagreements can be incredibly challenging because our culture is part of our individual identity. Your identity and your lived experiences make you who you are. The same can be said of your partner. But if your backgrounds are different you might find that this influences your current relationship dynamic. You may also have added cultural pressures such as connections and tensions with family overseas, the challenges that come with step-parenting / blended families, or family relocation. These issues are not impossible to overcome, and are most likely to be resolved with the help of couples counseling.

Will couples counseling save my relationship?

It can and I am here to do just that. I have helped many couples come together again after serious betrayals.

Going a bit deeper to answering this very common question though, is that you get back what you give out. Whatever is happening within your relationship, I can help you to unpack the problems and find a more thoughtful way forward. But, I can only take you as far as you want to go. There needs to be an opening from you to let me in and then, working together, we can go far.

“If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together”

What can be guaranteed, with just a few couples therapy sessions, is that you will both have a more intimate understanding of one another, and a much clearer view on where the relationship is going.

Get a free 15 min. conversation

Post author By Mark Colclough
Post date 02/01/2024

Free 15 min. conversation with Therapy.Mark Colclough

Asking for help is an important start to the therapeutic process – all it takes is a free 15 minute conversation.

When you think about booking your first therapy appointment, you are likely to ask yourself some common questions. Some of these might be;

How do I know if this problem can be helped by therapy?
How am I supposed to act / behave in therapy – what is expected of me?
What are Mark’s credentials?
Is online or in-person therapy best for me?
Should I book couples therapy or individual psychotherapy?

While reading can be useful, you have specific questions about your personal circumstances that need my attention – which is where a free 15 minute conversation comes in.

What happens during your free 15 min. conversation?

This conversation is an opportunity for you to explore the following:

Why you are considering therapy
How you’d like to work (i.e. online or in-person and how often)
What you’d like to achieve

The conversation will happen via phone and I will ask you open questions about your circumstances, goals and challenges. You will also have the opportunity to ask me questions too. You might want to know more about my background, approach, preferred way of working, and also what is expected of you as a client.

There is no right or wrong way to use this time

Ultimately, the goal should be a sense of clarity on whether or not therapy with me will be the right path for you. To get the most out of the conversation, please ensure that you are in a quiet and confidential environment. If you are accessing a conversation as a couple, please ensure both parties are present for the call.

After this no-obligation conversation, you’ll be able to decide on a direction forwards, having been given all the information.

Why is such a conversation important?

A 15 minute conversation allows us to begin our therapeutic relationship. Like with any relationship, there has to be a period of getting to know each other which is what this conversation is for. The advantages of doing this are:

By the time our first session commences, you’ll already have an early sense of who I am. I will have a beginning of an understanding of why you are accessing therapy
It equips me with the knowledge about what kind of therapy you might benefit from, so that I can prepare and plan for our sessions
You will feel more comfortable when therapy begins because you’ll know what is expected from you, and what to expect from me / therapy
You’ll have a better understanding of terms like ‘therapy subscription’ and ‘24 hour access’ in the therapeutic context
You’ll have received clear details about time limits, confidentiality, the ‘online environment’ (if applicable) and payment options including special offers, which frees us up to talk about what really matters during our sessions
You’ll gain clarity on what kind of commitment you want to make

My Pledge To You

My pledge to you

Post author By Mark Colclough
Post date 16/12/2023

My pledge to your well-being

“What I offer is an empathic and deeply present professional to talk with. I listen, understand and I will meet and challenge you, all to improve your quality of life, well being and to regain your sense of purpose.

My online platform helps you to take that important first step to 24/7 support; available to you at your convenience, with affordable and flexible options, providing you with therapy in your pocket and getting support when you need it most.

Remember, there is no “right time” or “right reason” to seek therapeutic and professional support. You will most likely gain something out of every consultation, regardless of what it is about.

Learn more about me, and see exactly what I mean with “if I am awake and available, I am yours”.

Online Sessions Psychotherapy

How to prepare for an online session

Post author By Mark Colclough
Post date 02/12/2023

A 2018 study published in the Journal of Psychological Disorders found that online therapy is, “effective, acceptable and practical health care.” This case is best made when both the therapist and client are well-prepared for the session.

In recent years, with the rise of more advanced communication tech, and certainly with the influence of the global pandemic, online therapy has become entirely mainstream. Still, you might ask yourself – does it work? The answer is – yes, providing we are well prepared in advance.

This might surprise you, but much of the time online therapy is the preferred way that therapists and clients work together. I personally have observed the way online therapy has evolved over the years and have seen it support many positive therapy outcomes.

In my experience, the sessions give the best results when proper preparation has been made in advance. This article will help you prepare for a session with me.

How to prepare for an online session

The most basic tools you need for a successful online therapy session are:

A stable internet connection
A room with enough light that we can properly see each other. Make sure that most of the light is in front of you, and not behind, so I don’t wind up seeing your silhouette.
A device with a webcam and microphone (i.e. a laptop, tablet or smartphone – if you do not have this, we can discuss telephone therapy or an in-person alternative)

With the basics mastered, it might be helpful to prepare the smaller details to keep the session running smoothly and without interruptions. Here are some ideas:

I recommend you choose a private, quiet space away from other people. I believe that for therapy to be effective, it helps to feel comfortable talking about personal and confidential matters. Therefore, I recommend you pick a spot that allows for this to happen.
If you have a pet, please make sure they are being taken care of by someone else. The same can be said for any other noise-distraction you anticipate may interrupt a session.
So that we don’t delay the start of the session, please be sure all of your equipment is working beforehand.
Please minimise technological interruptions. For example, if you receive notifications to your device, please try to silence them so that they do not pop up on the screen mid-session.
If you are using your phone rather than a laptop or tablet, I recommend you put it into a mode whereby you won’t receive any calls.
I believe that for online therapy to be effective you should try to present yourself as you would at an in-person session. This means being dressed and ready.
If you’d find it helpful, have a notepad and pen with you. You may benefit from taking notes during the session. Or you may wish to make notes before and after we have spoken. Please feel free to send me these notes if you wish to share them – especially if you have signed up to a subscription for therapy which includes 24/7 access to therapy including messaging and file sharing.
If you want, have tissues to hand and a glass of water.
Sit in a comfortable chair where you can see and hear without straining your muscles or eyesight. Let’s both get comfortable so that we can talk openly.
Place your device at eye height, so we both have the impression that we’re looking directly at each other.
Also, prop up your device on a stand, tripod or with some books. Hand holding a device whilst having therapy is not recommended.

As well as the list above, you might benefit from emotional and mental preparation ahead of our session. While there is no obligation to do these, it will certainly help you to get more out of online therapy with me.

- Use the free 15 minute conversation to clarify any questions you might have about online therapy or how we work together.
- Consider (if possible) blocking out a small window of time before and after the session. This will help you to be mentally ready for the session to begin, and help you to reflect on the session when it is over. It is often the case that these reflective moments can enhance the therapy experience and improve our therapeutic relationship.
- It can help to remind yourself that online therapy is very similar to in-person therapy. Prepare to treat it as if we are in the same room together. If there is anything about the online therapy that worries or concerns you, tell me! I am available to help facilitate the best possible online therapy experience.

Psychotherapy

What is individual psychotherapy?

Post author By Mark Colclough
Post date 18/11/2023

Knowing what individual psychotherapy is, and how it works, can help you decide if it’s the right path for you.

If you have never had therapy before, the prospect can feel daunting. I have often heard from clients that the initial dialing of my number was the hardest part, the realising that “I need help”. This is especially true, if you’re not sure what to expect.

Many people believe that therapy is only helpful “after” the crisis, instead of “before.”

If you are thinking about therapy but aren’t sure what it is, or how it works, here are some answers to your questions.

What is individual psychotherapy?

Individual psychotherapy is the one-on-one work we do together.

Dozens of therapy styles exist within psychotherapy, all with their unique advantages. I draw from multiple disciplines and psychological models that I feel will be best suited to our session. Ours is a unique relationship; it is strictly confidential and focused on helping you meet your goals. You are very much centrestage as I keep my personal experiences out of the room, allowing you to fully explore your needs.

Sessions usually happen on a regular one-to-one basis, and there is no limit to how many you should have. I would, however, suggest a minimum of 6.

Individual psychotherapy can be used to help with a range of problems such as:

Anxiety and stress
Depression / low mood
Major life changes such as divorce or relocation
Issues with sex and sexuality
Career struggles
Trauma / PTSD
Addictions, such as gambling, substances or sex
Difficulty with friendships, family or other relationships
And much more…

Individual psychotherapy provides a safe space for you to explore your presenting issue and get to its root cause, allowing for healing and the formation of a positive pathway forward.

Click here to see what my previous clients have said about individual psychotherapy.

The Client / Therapist Relationship

Quite often people ask;

“Why should I speak to a therapist when my friends are such good listeners?”

This is a good question.

Your friends have a bias. Consciously or not, they want to please you, to make you feel better in that moment, and usually will agree with the things you say. Friends might give you advice or (quite unintentionally) impose judgements. Therefore, you can find yourself navigating in waters contaminated by your friends’ good intentions.

The therapeutic relationship is beneficial in an unbiased way.

As a fully trained and qualified psychotherapist, I have learned to listen and respond in a way that is therapeutically beneficial. I use a set of skills and techniques to help you to find your own path, free from the judgement or interference of others. I do not advise or tell you what to do, but trust that you yourself can come to your own conclusions in your own time, with my support.

Furthermore, I take into account what’s happening in the room between us – which is referred to as transference and countertransference. This enables us to keep good boundaries within our relationship and work together in a healthy, meaningful way.

Lastly, therapists are required to uphold the strictest confidentiality at all times. You are encouraged to speak freely without fear of judgement, which makes the client/therapist relationship particularly intimate.

My confidentiality policy is quite simple; I only speak about your therapeutic journey and the conversations therein to you personally. If you are in couples therapy the same applies. However there are some Danish legal considerations if you are planning to harm yourself or others, or if I become aware of neglect or abuse that a minor may be subject to.

Acute Couples Counselling

Acute crisis couples therapy

Post author By Mark Colclough
Post date 19/09/2023

Acute couples counselling can bring immediate relief, and help move the rupture from emergency through crisis management to healing.

Sometimes a sudden crisis emerges within a relationship, and this crisis requires immediate attention to plug the leakage. For that reason, I offer comprehensive and acute marriage counselling, couples counselling and couples psychotherapy to those in need. Acute couples therapy offers you the opportunity to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences and to establish a safe common ground. Regardless of how your relationship develops, I offer assistance in facilitating a respecting communication between you.

In order to bring a sense of containment to painful situations, I aim at offering sessions within one business day of your first contact to me. Contact me immediately here

Knowing what constitutes a ‘crisis’ is the first step in finding a healthier, happier relationship.

A 2013 study demonstrated that 72.2% of couples cited conflict and communication problems as a major contributor to divorce. Other reasons included infidelity (59.6%), marrying at a young age (45.1%) and substance misuse (34.6%).

All of us at some point experience a relationship problem. The problem might be easily managed or it might feel like a dragging, nagging issue. In some cases, these problems and issues can turn into an immediate relationship crisis. If unmanaged in these dark and choppy waters, the relationship may not survive.

What is a crisis?

What constitutes a crisis is personal and individual. There is no set definition. You might, however, notice some of the following problems that indicate you are in a relationship crisis:

You are discussing / arguing again and again, with no end in sight
You are stonewalling each other / don’t speak to each other
You are sleeping or living apart (when this is not the norm for you)
You are depressed or anxious about your relationship more often than you are content
You have contempt for your partner (or they have contempt for you)
You, or your partner, has an affair / is unfaithful
There’s violence
You are considering separation / divorce
Criminal activity is being considered

Whatever your crisis is, it’s important to meet it with immediate care and attention. This can be challenging because oftentimes we don’t notice this crisis creeping up on us.

What are the warning signs of a crisis?

If you have noticed any of the following, you might already be in a crisis. It’s important to take action now and not wait for further pain to occur.

You’re starting to hide things from your partner or don’t feel you can tell them how you feel
You are feeling suspicious of your partner
You feel arguments aren’t being properly resolved
You’re arguing more often than you used to
Sex is less frequent or less fulfilling
You are having romantic or intimate feelings for another person
You dread going home / take sanctuary elsewhere
The relationship is feeling like a chore
A life change (such as having a baby) has adversely impacted the relationship
There are wider challenges (such as conflict with in-laws) that aren’t being resolved

When your relationship needs help right now

If you and your partner are noticing any of the crisis fault lines mentioned, don’t hesitate to get the help your relationship deserves. Much like an ambulance is needed at a crash site, acute couples counseling can assist you and your partner in identifying immediate dangers, setting up a safe space from which to listen to, and speak to each other. Finally, acute couples counseling can bring down inflammatory and hurt rhetoric, so healing has a potential to begin. These first steps are often the hardest for a couple to undertake, and there is no reason you should go the distance alone.

As your couples therapist, I will assist you in these first steps towards healing the rift, and my goal is to bring you lovingly together again in a new way, or help you both separate with dignity.

These processes are especially important if there are children involved.

Will acute couples counseling save my relationship?

It can and I am here to do just that. I have helped many couples come together again after serious betrayals.

“If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together”

What can be guaranteed, with just a few couples therapy sessions, is that you will both have a more intimate understanding of one another, and a much clearer view on where the relationship is going.